8. Faith-based Mentoring

Is Mentoring only for Christians? No!  

The Mentor Training events for which this blogspot is an archive were the result of a partnership between two Baptist Churches. The first two cohorts of trainees were recruited from the two Christian congregations and were all followers of Jesus. The text we have used was written by an Australian Methodist minister, and many of the additional training materials we have used have been sourced from Christian organisations such as Faith Centred Mentoring and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. However we have also sourced helpful articles from a wide range of secular groups including Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Education Departments,  medical practitioner mentors, and Peer Support organisations. The wisdom of mentoring is certainly not confined to the faith community.

However Mallison includes in his book and slides a number of references to  “Christ-centered people-helping” and even goes so far as to claim it is a "foundational quality for Christian mentoring" (MDDL p 64). What does he mean? Is mentoring  the same as discipleship training? How do we balance respect for the other with our own integrity? So in our first training session we asked, "How religious should we be?" (Note: boundaries will come up again in a later post, relating to Part Three of our Course, so this is just an initial foray). 

Our leader for this teaching slot, John, made some distinctions between mentoring and discipling. The latter of course is when a more mature Christian is helping a new follower of Jesus learn about the faith, and how to practise the disciplines of the Christian life. But our mentoree may or may be a committed follower of Christ. They may be a seeker on a journey of discovery  or they may show antipathy, or simply not care. In those cases, they will not understand much about Jesus, the Bible or faith, they will not be familiar with what Christians do together,  such as praying,  and they could have quite different priorities of life from their mentor. In this context, we asked, who sets the agenda and the themes to be covered? 

We were agreed that ultimately the client - the mentoree - is the focus, and their priorities will have the major influence on directions and goals. That said, part of a mentor's task is to stretch their client, and help them discover their strengths and maximise their growth. That may include a blossoming awareness of the spiritual dimensions to life and living. John noted six points where the mentor's spirituality could come into play: 

1. Discovering our Potential takes on an extra dimension when we understand that it is God's potential we seek.  God looks on the heart, and can see beauty and hope where we just see brokenness and flaws. 
2. Our understanding of Spiritual Gifts also brings an awareness of untapped areas of usefulness as well as an acknowledgement of our limitations.
3. The undergirding of prayer is hugely important in a mentoring relationship, but we have to sensitively think through how it can work. In some situations the Christian practice of spoken prayer will be utterly inappropriate.  What then to do? Certainly we can pray for our mentoree privately, before and after the session.  If our mentor knows we pray, we can ask them for prayer topics that we can bring to God later. They may even be willing for us to pray for them at the end of the session, as long as they know they don't have to contribute.  In all of this we can ourselves pray for discernment, for wisdom, insight and  freedom from spiritual oppression.
4. Christian hope is founded on the Easter Story, the truth that God can change lives and bring life out of death. That firm belief in God's transforming power is a resource we carry deep within us as followers of Jesus.
5. We also have our own story  and can tell it in appropriate ways at the appropriate time. Mentorees are not there to be preached to, but when they see and wonder, we may have the opportunity to tell something of our own faith journey, and the "reason for our hope". 
6. John's favourite verse and one we hark back to often in our faith community, is found in Colossians 1: 26 - 27. "The mystery that has been hidden throughout the ages and generations but has now been revealed to his saints. …  is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  The treasure in our human "jars of clay" is the risen Christ, who is present in Holy Spirit power in every mentoring conversation, whether made explicit or not.  That is great cause for confidence.

Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15: 5)  The flip side of that with Christ we can be different and can make a difference.  There is more that could be said about "Christ-Centred People Helping", perhaps in acknowledging world views, the theology of sin and the reality of spiritual warfare, but  not in this post. We can, and perhaps should, say that where both mentor and mentoree are comfortable with explicit faith language and concerns, the relationship is deepened and enriched. This is true discipling, and can usefully employ many of the skills introduced in this training programme. 

Quote of the Day: 

"We think that over the ages, Christ’s version of Discipling has often been reduced to 

“small-d discipling.” Believers’ attention has wandered, and discipling has often been watered down to reluctant pairs tentatively plodding through workbooks and lessons while avoiding many of the issues, pains, and passions of each other’s lives. By adopting the term “Christ-centered mentoring,” we want to re-establish the importance of Christ’s original intention and vision to transform His followers’ lives in every aspect."

(Brian and Linda Jones, Californian psychologists and founders of The Mentoring Group) 

Have you thought about the sensitive issue of how "religious" to be in a mentor situation? 
How can you rely on God's presence and power whether it is made explicit or not? 

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.