9. Qualities of a Good Mentor

I have been blessed over sixty plus years to have some amazing people contribute to my life and leadership. My parents Bill and Tui, teachers like Miss Shirley Hansen, pastors like the late Owen Baragwaneth, and my nana Vera Maclennan. As an adult I have received encouragement and advice from counsellors, colleagues, and my brother Simon who is a minister down-country.  A brief example: once, when I was applying for a job before I ended up in the one I'm in now, I was downhearted at the requirement in the job description that the successful candidate be someone innovative. I am a cautious and responsible person and didn’t see myself as innovative.  But because Si had observed me at work over many years, he was able to point out a number of innovations I had led at my last church, never in a hurry but some of them quite radical. I now see innovation as one of my strengths, purely because of that mentoring conversation.

When we identify the Christian leaders who have had a positive influence on us - relatives, friends, teachers, leaders, ministers, we can usually name some qualities they have in common. Our group came up with this list: 

• availability 
• integrity
• grace
• good listener
• wisdom
• supportive
• understanding. 

In his chapter "What it Takes" in Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders, Mallison adds in:

• Passionate - zealous and committed. If we find mentoring feels like a burden, perhaps it is not for us.
• Relational - able to develop rapport, and be interested and concerned with the mentoree as a person.
• Affirming, that is, believing in their mentoree and willing to tell them so. Even failures can be turned into genuine learning experiences.
• Open and Transparent - able to act with integrity and speak with authenticity. This enables them to ask the tough questions when needed.
• Trusting and Trustworthy, following up on commitments and able to keep confidences.
• Available - timing of face to face meetings should be agreed in advance but often there is a verbal agreement that the mentoree may phone or email when struggling with a difficult issue.
• Competent - in the areas in which the mentoree wants to grow. A person experienced in the business world may help a young adult with their career. An older mum may help a new parent with issues of child care. A minister with wide preaching experience may review a new pastor's sermons with a view to identifying their strengths and enhancing their skills. 
• Christ Centred and Prayerful - although as covered in Post  6, this will often be implicit rather than openly spoken about.

This is quite intimidating!  But Mallison, in another chapter, writes of having an adequate idea of God, whom he sees as the Great Mentor,  and a "sane estimate" of ourselves. This phrase comes from a verse in Romans,  where Paul is giving the believers advice about Christian living. 

"Don't cherish exaggerated ideas of yourself or your importance, 

but try to have a sane estimate of your capabilities..." 

(Rom. 12:3, Phillips)

A great mentor will not be overconfident but humble and teachable, having a “sane estimate” of their strengths. None of us can exhibit all the qualities named above; God uses wounded servants,  and by grace the dynamic in mentoring is both giving and receiving. Mallison notes two  important tensions:

1. We are both Image Bearers, who reflect God’s character, and can be channels of his grace, and Flawed, because of sin's impact on humanity, individually and together.
2. We are both Wounded,  by the brokenness of our world, and Healers, because being "in Christ" brings salvation and hope. 

These should help us have a truly sane estimate of ourselves.

Quote of the Day:

"Prayer leads you to see new paths and to hear new melodies in the air.

Prayer is the breath of your life which gives you freedom to go and to stay where you wish and to find the many signs which point out the way to a new land. 

Praying is not simply some necessary compartment in the daily schedule of a Christian or a source of support in time of need, nor is it restricted to Sunday mornings or mealtimes. Praying is living. It is eating and drinking, action and rest, 

teaching and learning, playing and working. 

Praying pervades every aspect of our lives. 

It is the unceasing recognition that God is wherever we are, 

always inviting us to come closer 

and to celebrate the divine gift of being alive. 

(Henri Nouwen, With Open Hands)

Try to recall a few Christian leaders who have had a positive influence on you  - relatives, friends, teachers, leaders, ministers, and more.  Name them out loud, and be thankful. Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.

8. Faith-based Mentoring

Is Mentoring only for Christians? No!  

The Mentor Training events for which this blogspot is an archive were the result of a partnership between two Baptist Churches. The first two cohorts of trainees were recruited from the two Christian congregations and were all followers of Jesus. The text we have used was written by an Australian Methodist minister, and many of the additional training materials we have used have been sourced from Christian organisations such as Faith Centred Mentoring and InterVarsity Christian Fellowship. However we have also sourced helpful articles from a wide range of secular groups including Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Education Departments,  medical practitioner mentors, and Peer Support organisations. The wisdom of mentoring is certainly not confined to the faith community.

However Mallison includes in his book and slides a number of references to  “Christ-centered people-helping” and even goes so far as to claim it is a "foundational quality for Christian mentoring" (MDDL p 64). What does he mean? Is mentoring  the same as discipleship training? How do we balance respect for the other with our own integrity? So in our first training session we asked, "How religious should we be?" (Note: boundaries will come up again in a later post, relating to Part Three of our Course, so this is just an initial foray). 

Our leader for this teaching slot, John, made some distinctions between mentoring and discipling. The latter of course is when a more mature Christian is helping a new follower of Jesus learn about the faith, and how to practise the disciplines of the Christian life. But our mentoree may or may be a committed follower of Christ. They may be a seeker on a journey of discovery  or they may show antipathy, or simply not care. In those cases, they will not understand much about Jesus, the Bible or faith, they will not be familiar with what Christians do together,  such as praying,  and they could have quite different priorities of life from their mentor. In this context, we asked, who sets the agenda and the themes to be covered? 

We were agreed that ultimately the client - the mentoree - is the focus, and their priorities will have the major influence on directions and goals. That said, part of a mentor's task is to stretch their client, and help them discover their strengths and maximise their growth. That may include a blossoming awareness of the spiritual dimensions to life and living. John noted six points where the mentor's spirituality could come into play: 

1. Discovering our Potential takes on an extra dimension when we understand that it is God's potential we seek.  God looks on the heart, and can see beauty and hope where we just see brokenness and flaws. 
2. Our understanding of Spiritual Gifts also brings an awareness of untapped areas of usefulness as well as an acknowledgement of our limitations.
3. The undergirding of prayer is hugely important in a mentoring relationship, but we have to sensitively think through how it can work. In some situations the Christian practice of spoken prayer will be utterly inappropriate.  What then to do? Certainly we can pray for our mentoree privately, before and after the session.  If our mentor knows we pray, we can ask them for prayer topics that we can bring to God later. They may even be willing for us to pray for them at the end of the session, as long as they know they don't have to contribute.  In all of this we can ourselves pray for discernment, for wisdom, insight and  freedom from spiritual oppression.
4. Christian hope is founded on the Easter Story, the truth that God can change lives and bring life out of death. That firm belief in God's transforming power is a resource we carry deep within us as followers of Jesus.
5. We also have our own story  and can tell it in appropriate ways at the appropriate time. Mentorees are not there to be preached to, but when they see and wonder, we may have the opportunity to tell something of our own faith journey, and the "reason for our hope". 
6. John's favourite verse and one we hark back to often in our faith community, is found in Colossians 1: 26 - 27. "The mystery that has been hidden throughout the ages and generations but has now been revealed to his saints. …  is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”  The treasure in our human "jars of clay" is the risen Christ, who is present in Holy Spirit power in every mentoring conversation, whether made explicit or not.  That is great cause for confidence.

Jesus said, "Apart from me you can do nothing." (John 15: 5)  The flip side of that with Christ we can be different and can make a difference.  There is more that could be said about "Christ-Centred People Helping", perhaps in acknowledging world views, the theology of sin and the reality of spiritual warfare, but  not in this post. We can, and perhaps should, say that where both mentor and mentoree are comfortable with explicit faith language and concerns, the relationship is deepened and enriched. This is true discipling, and can usefully employ many of the skills introduced in this training programme. 

Quote of the Day: 

"We think that over the ages, Christ’s version of Discipling has often been reduced to 

“small-d discipling.” Believers’ attention has wandered, and discipling has often been watered down to reluctant pairs tentatively plodding through workbooks and lessons while avoiding many of the issues, pains, and passions of each other’s lives. By adopting the term “Christ-centered mentoring,” we want to re-establish the importance of Christ’s original intention and vision to transform His followers’ lives in every aspect."

(Brian and Linda Jones, Californian psychologists and founders of The Mentoring Group) 

Have you thought about the sensitive issue of how "religious" to be in a mentor situation? 
How can you rely on God's presence and power whether it is made explicit or not? 

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.

7. "Who I Am" Ice Breaker

This icebreaker is used in many different forms in different contexts and for many different reasons, and will be familiar to many. In our case we had a mixed group of people who knew each other well and others who had met for the first time that day. In pairing folk up we encouraged them to find someone they didn't know, but because of numbers it didn't always pan out that way. Nevertheless the exercise was great fun and built trust and rapport in a beautiful way. 

I acknowledge that the handout we used for this exercise was based on one in Training New Mentors, a booklet published in 2007 by The National Mentoring Center at Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory in Oregon. 

INTRODUCTIONS ICEBREAKER
Objective: 

To provide an experience that is somewhat parallel to the first meeting with a  mentoree

Length:  
30 - 40 minutes 
Handout:

"Who I am"  

If you have name tags, do not hand them out until the end of the activity.  

Tell participants you want them to introduce themselves to one another. Organize the group into pairs, (try and pair people who do not know each other well.) Then distribute the handout with open-ended questions. Each pair uses the handout as a guide for having a conversation in which they introduce themselves and learn about one another; each person should have about ten minutes each to respond. After twenty minutes each person introduces their partner to the whole group - allow about one minute per person. (We couldn't keep to that!!!)

Icebreaker Handout: Who I Am
• My name is …
• My most important role in life is …
• Outside the home I  …
• When I need to relax I ….
• One thing about me that is important for people to know is…
• Some of the strengths I will bring to a mentoring relationship are…
• One of my worries about being a mentor is…
• One thing I hope to gain from being a mentor is …
• The most important thing a mentoree will gain …

This exercise can lead into a discussion about how this activity is similar to starting a new relationship with a mentoree. How did it feel to reveal things about themselves? Did their partner do or say anything to help them open up? If so, what?

Quote of the Week: 

    "We must appreciate the relational nature of mentoring. 

Like all living things, mentoring relationships will deteriorate if they are not maintained.  

Remember there is no formula, no ideal model, and no programme of steps to success.  

We must work hard at nurturing the connection between us."      

(Charles Hewlett, Principal, Carey Baptist College)

Do you have an easy way to develop rapport with someone, 

or a surefire open-ended question? 

Why not post a comment and tell us? 

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape. 

6. Strengths Based Mentoring

The session on Encouraging made brief mention of the “strengths approach,” which has its origins in the social sciences.   A strength is something we consistently do well, a combination of talents,  knowledge and skills, that are enduring and unique. A person's greatest potential for growth is in the area of their greatest strength, and mentoring can help to identify and affirm these. When look to match our strengths to our roles at work, home and in the community,we enjoy what we are doing because we are using our true talents. 

Today the strengths movement is found everywhere: in the corporate world, the public service, in economics, education, and faith. Why? Because it works  It has proved far more effective to build organizations around what works rather than try and fix what doesn't. This approach has direct relevance to the mentor relationship, so I will offer a basic summary here, and suggest if the paradigm appeals to you, you can read some of the books by writers like Charles Rapp and Marcus Buckingham. 

A definition to start with:

A strength is a unique configuration of Talent + Knowledge + Skills. Strengths allow us to produce consistent competent performance in a certain activity.. 

• Talents are naturally recurring patterns of thought, feeling or behavior that can be productively applied. Talents come easily to us and we often don’t recognize them as such. For example, I have always been able to sing in tune. It comes naturally. But it's a talent my brother doesn't have. On the other hand, he is much better at connecting with strangers than I am. Each person's talents are enduring and unique; not everyone can do the same things.
• Knowledge comprises facts and lessons learned. This includes factual knowledge such as the models of iPhone, or where to buy peastraw, and experiential knowledge such as what will help a baby get to sleep. 
• Skills, on the other hand, are the steps of an activity, such as how to drive a  car or make a lasagne. Skills bring structure to experiential knowledge. 

The Gallup research organisation has identified 34 dominant "themes" of talent with thousands of possible combinations. You can find a list of these at strengthstest.com. 33 million combinations of the top 5 themes are possible and each is interwoven and modified by association. Themes have little to say about what field you should be in, and only offer some directional guidance on what role you should play within your chosen field. The undergirding premise is that within an organisation or as an individual, we reach our best potential by matching our strengths to our roles and enjoying putting our true talents to work. Many people however do not know what their strengths are, or how to describe them. This makes it hard to build one's life around them.  Our society (made up of parents, teachers, employers and therapists)  is fixated, says this paradigm,  with trying to repair our weaknesses, leaving our strengths lying dormant. An individual development plan for an employee or student will often focus on these areas of weakness or work to minimize them. But capitalising on our strengths is a better use of energy.  Certainly "fatal" weaknesses must be addressed; delusion, or not realizing you are failing, and denial, or finding reasons why your failures have nothing to do with you, are dangerous flaws, especially in combination. And there are basic areas (communicating, listening, organization) where you need some level of ability or they will undermine your real strengths. In general, though, we are better to manage ourselves around our weaknesses by say, employing a person or practice that mitigates against them. Ask yourself if the weakness is a skills weakness, a knowledge weakness or a talent weakness. If  you can't decide, acquire by training or practice, the skills and knowledge you need in a certain area, and if your performance is still deficient, you probably lack the talent. Find a coworker or partner with complementary  themes, and tell your team you are going stop doing things you aren't good at.

A person cannot have a strength without having the requisite talent. Skills will help them perform but not necessarily excel. For example, we may learn the basic steps of public speaking and even become a better public speaker than we were before. But without the natural talent, we will never be great at it. This means a mentoring relationship will be more successful if we help out mentoree identify their talents,  refine them with knowledge and skills and build them into strengths. Talents not only come naturally to us, but are also accompanied by an “it feels good” quality. So it not only feels natural to use them, it feels good too. "When we exploit our natural abilities, we can't help but succeed". 

Mentorees can be coached to monitor their reactions to life situations they encounter in order to identify their talents. The 2001 book "Now, Discover Your Strengths" by Marcus Buckingham and Donald Clifton suggests we notice: 

• Yearnings – activities you are drawn to naturally, particularly at a young age. You may not heed the desire to cultivate them because you are busy doing other things, but they will keep “calling out” to you.
• Rapid Learning – an ability to rapidly learn a new skill will give us clues to a talent’s presence.
• Satisfactions – since it “feels good” to use a talent, if doing something makes you feel really good or satisfied, it may be a natural talent. This shouldn’t be confused with the idea that “if it feels good, do it”. Obviously this applies to productive behaviors only, as the definition of talent implies.

Each person's greatest potential for growth is in the area of his or her strengths. Encouragement, which we agreed is the core of good mentoring, can be enriched by an understanding of the strengths-based approach. 

Quote of the Day: 

"Conventional wisdom tells us that we learn from our mistakes. The strengths movement says that all we learn from mistakes are the characteristics of mistakes. 

If we want to learn about our successes, we must study successes." 

(Marcus Buckingham).

Can you name some of your talents, knowledge and skills?

Which of the 34 themes can you identify as your constellation of strengths? 

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.  

5. Jesus, Our Role Model

This material is taken more or less directly from our text book by the late John Mallison: Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders

JESUS our PRIME MODEL

Jesus provides our one true model, message and method to direct our mentoring under the guidance and empowering of the Holy Spirit. Mark tells us “he appointed twelve that they might be with him” (Mark 3: 14) He moulded these disciples by sharing his life with them. He demonstrated how to bring pleasure to God, and how best to serve and honour him so that others would take God seriously and give him his rightful place in their lives. We can learn how he went about being with his disciples, from their immature first steps to their becoming leaders who would be strong pillars of his kingdom, after their Pentecost experience. He provides not only our best example but he is our own best mentor. To reflect to any worthwhile degree on the way he moulded the lives of the twelve, we also need to share his life.

However it is vital to appreciate that there was one regular aspect of his life in which, until  Gethsemane, the disciples participated only indirectly. Those were his times of solitude with his Father when, before dawn and at least once, all night, he maintained that intimacy which undergirded and empowered his whole life and ministry (Mark 1 :35; Luke 6:12-15).  Here is probably the greatest lesson we must keep learning - to find and frequent our places of solitude, our desert place, our retreat, where as our Lord did, we can take unhurried time to keep God in the centre.

His BEING: 

Probably what the disciples would remember best from being continually with Jesus was who he was as a Person - his character, his integrity, his credibility, his uniqueness. Growth of their characters was Jesus’ primary concern. Essentially this happened by observation, and as they participated in his simple lifestyle and his dynamic ministry (Matt 8:20).The disciples were continually exposed to his genuine compassion for everyone: the poor and the sick (Mark 1:41; Luke 7: 13),  the crowds with their varied needs (Matt 9:36); those with status (Mark 10:21) and even those who rejected him (Matt 23:37). They were staggered by his servant leadership and great  humility (Matt 9:10; Luke 22: 27; John 13: 5 – 17; 2 Cor 8: 9; Phil 2: 7 – 8). They were awed by his wise teaching (Matt 7: 29) and miracle power (Mark 1:23-26; Matt 8:23-27; Matt 9:18-26) but also stunned with the vehemence of his righteous indignation against hypocrisy (Matt 23:1-26) and injustice (Mark 11:15-18).

They were impressed by his concern for the weak and marginalised. Little children had ready access to him (Mark 10: 13 – 16) and a despised Samaritan, rather than a religious Jew, was the ‘good’ man in his famous parable (Luke 10: 25 – 37)

What a challenge Jesus presents to us, as mentors, to become like him. Our credibility, our believability is so important, but this is not something we generate entirely in our own strength.  Paul’s teaching on ‘life by the Spirit’ (Gal 5:16-25) portrays quality of character as fruit which is reproduced in us as we seek to “live in the Spirit - keep in step with the Spirit”, and as we abide in him (John 15).

HIS WORDS: 

What Jesus said indeed proved to be words of life (John 6: 68)  He spoke plainly so all understood, always enabling listeners to make  practical application (eg Matthew chapters 5, 6 and 7). They note,  along with the crowd, that when he spoke he had an influence, a power to engender obedience, an authority unlike any other teacher (Matt 7: 28,29).

He used everyday events as real-life case studies (Mark 9:14-29; 10:23-31). When they weren’t at hand, he used parables, imaginary stories, as case studies to ground their understanding (Mark 4: 1-34); we would say he blended cognitive and behavioural learning styles.

He never compromised the truth even when he knew it would offend and he would lose apparent supporters (John 6:60). The disciples were admonished when they made mistakes (17:14-21), corrected when they thought wrongly (Matt 18:21, 22; 19: 13-15; Mark 16: 14), affirmed for their increase in knowledge and discernment (Matt 16:17-19), and encouraged when they were successful (Luke 10:21-24).

Jesus also stressed to his disciples the indispensability of the empowerment of the Holy Spirit for every aspect of their being, words and deeds (John 14:15-17, 25, 26; 15:26; 16:5-15; Acts 1: 4,5,8). The disciples would heartily agree with the temple guards who were part of the conspiracy to destroy him, ‘No-one ever spoke the way this man does’ (John 7: 46) What a model to follow!

HIS DEEDS: 

The disciples would echo the crowd’s response to his miracles “we have never seen anything like this’ (Mark 2:12). They soon became convinced that all Jesus’ ministry was motivated by divine love. He instructed them that love must be the badge of their discipleship, ‘the very spring of all their actions’, they must love as he loved (John 13:34; 15:12, 13, 17; 2 Cor 5:14). They must have been almost overwhelmed that Jesus entrusted his ministry to them with remarkable results. He practised true mutuality in ministry, not to make his task lighter but to help them develop, in order to continue his ministry after his ascension (Matt 28:16-20; Mark 6: 7-13). Was Jesus inviting his disciples to actually perform the miracle of feeding the 5,000 when he said, ‘You give them something to eat?’ If so, they missed a mind-blowing opportunity when they looked to their own limited resources rather than trusting in God’ -Mark 6:37,38). He chided them when they failed, but stood by them, helping them to learn by reflecting on the event -Mark 9:14-29.

The outcome Christ desired in his mentorees, who were initially unlikely choices as future leaders, was to produce people who could bear witness to him in all they said and did. And what remarkable witnesses and leaders the disciples became:  prayerful, faithful, Christ-like, obedient, courageous, authoritative,  full of compassion, effective in calling people to faith and nurturing and equipping them for ministry. They were instrumental in changing the course of history.

Quote of the Day: 

All biblical mentoring then is under-mentoring. 

Jesus Christ is the real and decisive agent in Christian mentoring. 

We cannot bring about change in our mentorees,

 yet we can influence them to be changed by Jesus Christ. 

Therefore we must not regard him as the mentor of the past only, 

but as mentor in the present as well. 

Jesus’ mentoring prototype is not merely a static blueprint of days past, 

it is operational as a formative power through the Holy Spirit today. 

In our day and age the Master’s promise, ‘Come follow me, and I will make you fish for people’ (cf Matt 4:19) has lost neither its validity nor its authority. 

The Lord Jesus as our coaching model seeks more than our mere interest in him 

as an historical forerunner; he claims our trust as our present enabler.”

(Günter Krallman)

How are you doing at bearing witness to Jesus in all you say and do? 

What might help you become more Christlike?

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.  

4. Biblical Mentors

This material is taken more or less directly from our text book by the late John Mallison: Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders

BIBLICAL MODELS

There are numerous examples of mentoring in the Scriptures. Some of the better known ones are excellent role models for mentors.

JETHRO AND MOSES

Jethro rescued his son-in-law from inevitable burnout by teaching him to delegate (Exodus 18).

MOSES AND JOSHUA

Moses groomed Joshua for his mammoth task of leading Israel into the Promised Land (Dent 31:1-8; 34:9).

MOSES AND CALEB

Moses no doubt had a significant influence on Caleb, resulting in his becoming an outstanding leader, through to his senior years (Num 13; 14:6-9; 34:16-19; Josh 14:6-15).

SAMUEL AND SAUL

Samuel recognised great leadership potential in Saul and sought to mould and guide him, continuing to do so even after his spiritual demise (1 Sam 9:15).

SAMUEL AND DAVID

Samuel was clearly guided to David as a most unlikely leader initially, because of his age and stature. He then protected him from harm because of Saul's jealousy and mental instability (1 Sam 16; 19:18-24),

JONATHAN AND DAVID

This was an equal relationship, with both receiving and giving. They offer an excellent example of co-mentoring or peer mentoring in the depth of their commitment to each other and their families (1 Sam 18:1-4; 19:1-7; 20:1-42).

ELIJAH AND ELISHA

Elijah, who saw in Elisha someone who could continue his ministry, discipled him and eventually 'passed his baton' on to him. He was also open to be blessed by Elisha (1 Kings 19:16-21; 2 Kings 2: 1 – 16; 3:11)

BARNABAS

Barnabas had a strong gift in encouragement. Indeed his name means 'son of encouragement' (Acts 4:36). He was a godly, joyous person. Acts 11:23,24 tells us he was Spirit-filled, a man of faith and an effective evangelist. The Christian church owes so much to him for his mentoring of Paul. He recognised the potential in Paul when other believers distanced themselves from him after his conversion (Acts 9:27).

He stood by Paul when he most needed a faithful friend (Acts 13:50) and celebrated with him when the church endorsed his ministry (Acts 13:2).

Barnabas stood by John Mark when he faltered, confronting Paul

felt he was out of God's will in his handling of John Mark.

He worked with John Mark, enabling him to eventually become a great support to Paul, and the one who many believe was the primary author of the gospel of Mark (Acts 15:36-39; 2 Tim 4:11).

Mallison strongly emphasizes the value of reflection in learning from our experiences. Was it Barnabas' critical reflection that made him depart from Paul? When Paul matured in ministry, Barnabas, like John the Baptist, was able to step aside and let him take centre stage (Acts 11:26 — cf Acts 13:50).

PAUL

Paul saw great promise in Timothy, so he mentored him, giving this emerging leader wise guidance and opportunities for hands-on experience as they travelled together. This resulted in the young church at Ephesus being enriched by having Timothy as their pastor. Luke says the churches in Lystra and Iconium spoke well of him (Acts 16:2). Paul's two letters to Timothy show some idea of how he discipled, instructed, encouraged and coached him (Phil 2:19-23).

PRISCILLA AND AQUILA WITH APOLLOS

Along with husband Aquila, Priscilla was one of the most distinguished of Paul's fellow-workers. Of the five times her name is mentioned, three times it comes before that of her husband. It was clearly believed that she was the more gifted leader. Both had deep knowledge of the Scriptures. They counselled and helped Apollos in his preaching methods and content, because of his weakness in these areas. ‘They expounded to him the way of God more carefully (Acts l8:26, The Message). The duration of the time of their friendship we do not know, but Apollos became a mighty spokesperson for the gospel and was called an apostle. The Corinthians put him before Peter and Paul. Much of his success must be attributed to the wise and patient counsel of Priscilla and Aquila (Acts 18:2; 18:26; Rom 16:3; 1 Cor 16:19; 2 Tim 4: 19)

EUNICE AND LOIS

As mother and grandmother, they must have mentored young Timothy till he became a convert and mentoree of Paul. Eunice, having a Gentile husband would have found in her mother, Lois, a source of encouragement, especially in Jewish matters, for both were of the Jewish faith (Acts 16: l -3; 2 Tim 1- 5; 3:14, 15; 4:5)

JESUS is our Prime Role Model. My next post will take up that theme. 

Quote of the Day:
"Moses as a mentor provided a great lesson in how to transfer leadership...he gave the proper direction, teaching, and recognition to prepare Joshua to fulfill his role in life." (Faith Centred Mentoring and More)

Which of these Biblical role models resonates most with your present context? Why?

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.  

3. One Definition of Mentoring

Last session we reviewed some definitions of mentoring in light of the historical meaning of this special interpersonal relationship of wisdom and encouragement. Today's post introduces the late John  Mallison’s own working definition, used extensively in his book and in his training resources, generously made available with the permission of his family. 

This definition says Mentoring is :

"a dynamic, intentional relationship of trust in which 

one person enables another to maximise the grace of God 

in their life and service." 

Mentoring is part of the fabric of life – in families, teams, workplaces. It was demonstrably present in Bible times, and has continued to be used in Christian communities over many centuries.  For example John Wesley's Methodist 'Rules' promote the relationality of Christian society, as followers of Jesus cared for each other and spurred one another on to greater faithfulness. Mallison's definition is worthy of specific analysis: 

Relationship  involves Connection, Bond, Rapport and Concern.  Good mentoring means time spent together, although once the relationship is established that togetherness may be on the phone or by Skype.

Dynamic means Stimulating, Empowering, Active, Growing. If the relationship has become  stagnant or dull, perhaps it is time to finish.
      
Intentional  - the participants meet with Purpose and  Direction - and a clear sense of hope. The setting of goals toagther, the completion of tasks by the mentoree, and the reflection of the mentor about what resources may help will keep the meetings from becoming aimless or haphazard. 

Trust takes time to develop, but as it grows so do openness and honesty. The mentor's confidentiality, competence, and credibility accompanied by their skills of active listening, affirmation and encouragement all deepen the bonds of trust. 

Enable  means to assist, to empower, to give the means to make possible. It carries the idea of a person being actively involved not just a passive listener. The imagery, says Mallison, who was once a technology teacher, is of "a busy workshop with a variety of equipment and resources, with skilled supervisors facilitating the hands-on work of apprentices," rather than that of a teacher in a lecture theatre (MTDDL, p9). Recent educational reform would characterise this as 'Guide on the Side' rather than 'Sage-on-the-Stage' . 

Maximise is about bringing out the best in someone or something. Mentoring is all aobut recognising and releasing the potential in a person, potential of which they may have never been aware. We will leave the discussion of the 'grace of God" phrase till a later post, because mentoring can be deeply transforming whether or not there is an explicit 'God-dimension'. 

Life and Service - whether or not there is faith on the part of the participants, mentoring does concern itself with using all our gifts and graces for the good of others. The equipping of leaders is an important dimension of this goal.

The Wisdom Literature of the ancient Hebrews makes this observation: 

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil.   
For if they fall, one will lift up the other; but woe to one who is alone and falls 
 and does not have another to help."  ( Ecclesiastes 4: 9 - 10) 

Eugene Peterson's Message translation of the passage puts it this way: 

"It’s better to have a partner than go it

Share the work, share the wealth. 

And if one falls down, the other helps,

                 But if there’s no one to help, tough! 

Two in a bed warm each other.

                 Alone, you shiver all night. 

By yourself you’re unprotected. 

With a friend you can face the worst."

Our Quote of the Day comes from John Mallison himself: 

....in teams of varying sizes, I have sought to assess the levels of competency of each member and varied the degree of mentoring of each individual accordingly. It has been a delight to observe in my teams the development of confidence and competence that takes place through appropriate encouragement, coaching, support, and delegation of increased responsibility. I now have a network of 14o leaders whom I mentor with varying degrees of intensity.....they are frequently in my prayers." (John Mallison, OAM,  1929 - 2012)

Have you benefited from wise mentorship in a team to which you belong?  

Have you offered this kind of wise support in a team situation? 

How does Mallison's definition resonate with your experiences? 

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.  

2. The Original Mentor

An early theme in our Mentor Training event last year was What is a Mentor? We looked at the historical background to the notion.

A mentor is commonly defined as “a wise and trusted counselor and teacher.” The word “mentor” itself comes from the classical tradition. It is the actual name of a character in Homer's The Odyssey, an epic poem written in the eighth century BC about the Greek hero Odysseus and his long journey home after the Trojan War. Odysseus’ return was long delayed by many adventures and trials, and issues arose with his wife and son left at home. Mentor was a trusted friend who had remained in the house as a wise advisor to both.  He counseled the young Telemachus to keep faith in his father's eventual return and was able to bring wisdom and power from the past to bear on the uncertainties of the time. Homer portrays Mentor as a disguised form of Athena, the goddess of wisdom, who gives Telemachus the vision, resources, companionship, and encouragement he needs to act well in face of a threatening future. Mentoring, then, has a sense of divine insight as well as a deep caring, drawing out courage and faithfulness to enable the mentoree to do what is best. 

Today one professional organization helpfully defines a mentor as “an experienced person who goes out of his/her way to help another person set important life goals and build skills to reach them.” (Faith-Centered Mentoring and More) Here are some other definitions we looked at: 

"Mentoring is to support and encourage people to manage their own learning in order that they may maximise their potential, develop their skills, improve their performance and become the person they want to be." (Eric Parsloe, The Oxford School of Coaching & Mentoring)

"Mentoring refers to the process in which a person with a serving, giving, encouraging attitude (Mentor), sees the leadership potential in a still to be developed person and is able to prompt or otherwise significantly influence that person along to the realisation of his/her potential’. (J Robert Clinton)

"A mentor in the biblical sense establishes a close relationship with a protégé and on that basis through fellowship, modelling, advice, encouragement, correction, practical assistance and prayer support influences his/her understudy to gain a deeper comprehension of divine truth, lead a godlier life and render more effective service to God". (Gunter Krallmann)

"Mentoring describes an intentional and deliberate attitude to encourage another’s life and ministry.  It finds its biblical base in Jesus’ words to Peter in Luke 22: 32  - " help your brothers be stronger...”  (Bishop John Reid)

Some of these definitions are more explicitly Christian than others. Although mentoring is a relatively recent term in Christian circles, what it describes has been the focus of Christian community since the early church. "It is a dynamic relationship of trust in which one person enables another to maximise the grace of God in his/her life and service. It has a sound biblical and theological basis with Jesus as the ultimate model, retaining all that is consistent with his life and teaching." (from "Mentoring to Develop Disciples and Leaders" by John Mallison).

In classical antiquity, however, the world view was polytheistic humanism. Gods and goddesses were finite, powerful, territorial, capricious, and unpredictable. Goodness and truth were not found in the character of God, but in noble men and their virtuous deeds in war, literature or art. Virtue was never found in women or slaves or the young. So the classical understanding of mentoring, for all of its apparent excellence and truth, can never be intellectually or morally satisfying for Christian men and women, who look to God for wisdom and truth, and to humans of any social strata as mentors. (from Thomas and Trevethan, 2005) However, Christians draw on an equally ancient view of mentoring in the Old and New Testaments. The Biblical narrative contains powerful accounts of a number of “mentoring relationships,” the foremost of course being Jesus and the Twelve. These Biblical role models will be covered in a future post. 

Quote of the Week: 

It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. 

Share the work, share the wealth.

And if one falls down, the other helps,

But if there’s no one to help, tough!

Two in a bed warm each other.

Alone, you shiver all night.

 By yourself you’re unprotected.

With a friend you can face the worst.

Can you round up a third?

A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9 - 10

Do you have a partner in your daily work? in your family context? 

Give thanks for those  who help you "face the worst".

Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 and 2013. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.