A mentoring relationship is a great context for helping a mentoree with setting their goals and determining concrete steps towards fulfilling them. Making our goals explicit helps us achieve them. In a study of Yale University graduates, the small percentage of the class who had written goals at the outset of their study course accomplished more than all the other class members combined (from John Maxwell’s Mentoring 101). But the goals have to be achievable; our training group looked at a New Year video that reminded us about setting goals that are relevant and realistic.
We reviewed the SMART goals paradigm that was created by George Doran in 1981. Although Doran had five specific meanings to his acronym, today there are a myriad helpful, and sometimes unhelpful, definitions of SMART:
M Measurable, Motivational, Manageable, Meaningful
A Achievable, Agreed, Assignable, Actionable, Adjustable, Aligned, Aspirational,
R Relevant, Result-Based, Results-oriented, Resourced, Resonant, Realistic
T Timely, Time-oriented, Time-Specific, Timetabled, Trackable, Tangible
Goal-setting is an important feature of a mentoring relationship, say the Big Brother/Big Sister organisations. They have documented the power of a mentor to create opportunities for youth to become successful in school, improve peer relations, and make healthier choices (Tierney, Grossman and Resch, 1995). Goal setting is the pathway to making that kind of difference. Mentors can use goal setting strategies that deploy existing strengths and values to help mentorees achieve their dreams and hopes. We had looked at personal strengths in an earlier module, when we discovered these unique configurations of "Talent + Knowledge + Skills" can be used as a source of encouragement, the core of good mentoring, But they are also important resources for helping individuals achieve their personal, academic, and short- and long-term goals.
The Ongoing Training resource we have referred to already in this mentoring programme offers a six step paradigm and a goal-setting worksheet (p50 - 53) for using strengths to promote goals:
Step 1. Defining Strengths
The first step in this model is to define personal strengths. Ask the mentoree what are the qualities, skills, and characteristics that they would define as your strengths? What abilities do they bring that could be a foundation for future success? Many goal-setting workshops ask participants to identify four strengths, writing each one on a corner of a sheet of card.
Step 2. Envisioning the Future
The step helps us see goal setting within the bigger picture. Ask the mentoree what their ideal future looks like. How do they want to be living in 10 or 20 years? What do they want to achieve in the long term? Thinking long term will help them gain insights into what they truly value. This will help them connect short-term goals with long-term dreams. Some workshops use "time travel" or "funeral eulogy" exercises to help with this.
Step 3. Goals for Action
Having reflected on their personal strengths and vision for the long-term future, help them choose three to five short-term goals that will help move them toward that long-term vision.
Step 4. Concrete Tasks
Identify some specific and concrete activities they can start doing now, as a foundation for achieving these goals. Describe each activity and set a date by which they plan to accomplish it. If it is a recurring activity, describe how often they will do it (e.g., daily, monthly).
Next think about potential barriers in achievement of the goal. What might get in the way of success? Procrastination, Confusion, Fear, and Low Self-Esteem are examples. What preventive steps can be taken to prepare for these obstacles? For each goal write down the "Date to be accomplished" and any "preventive step" they will take.
Step 6. Reflection
At intervals in the goal-achievement timetable spend time reflecting on how specific activities have worked out, keeping in mind the Kolb learning cycle we looked at in another module. What worked and didn’t work? What has been learned? Have the goals changed, or do they need to? How have they changed since working on your goals? This provides opportunity for specific encouragement. Remember the heart of mentoring is to enable the mentoree to find their own strength to meet their goals.
The chapter also suggests an interactive way to clarify the importance of goals with younger mentorees:
Together build a tower out of newspaper and masking tape or pins and straws.
Ask the mentoree to define the goals for what the tower will look like.
How tall will it be? How wide will it be? What will it look like?
Discuss ways they can apply this activity to their own life.
What is the worst goal-setting mistake? What I call ‘goal setting by menu.’ Imagine you have gone to a restaurant and the waiter presents you with the menu. You look at all the lovely options and think; ‘Oooo, I fancy a bit of that, followed by a load of this and finished off with a great big dollop of that.’ And this is often the approach people take when setting goals – just randomly picking something that has caught their attention that seems a good idea at the time.....
When you set goals in this random way, they may not deliver the the results you really want. This is because they are not chosen based on what you have identified is MOST important. To avoid this goal-setting mistake, first create a compelling vision of what your ideal outcome looks like, based on your core values. Make sure your goals are based on that.
When did you last do a personal goal-setting exercise?
Why not try a letter to your "seven-years-from-now" self to clarify what you want?
Godshaped Mentoring is the site where Rev Viv records material shared in the Mentor Training events held in a partnership between two Baptist Churches in Auckland New Zealand in 2012 - 2014. The blog has been set up to ensure people who missed some aspect of of the training can catch up on the themes covered and skills taught, and so we can add insights and feedback as the programme takes shape.
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